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Long post. My Ex and I used to buy those leaves in the City nearby big Somalian population I had no idea they were related to Meow. I do 30ml in morn, then no more if I use at night. If I don't use at Prostatamassage Video 3 gp, I do the other 15ml. I know this is not officially allowed but they have to realise you are trying hard to beat this; if it works this way, then it works.

It's better than them reducing it too fast, which will bring on the cravings and send you right back to square one. I've used three timnes since the jubilee, I know how hard this is, even when we say Prostatamassage Video 3 gp More" and we mean it, really mean it.

All we can do is keep trying. You're ear sounds really bad Gleds, I hope the doc gets it sorted for you. You Prostatamassage Video 3 gp trying so hard to give up on drugs I really want you to succeed m'dear. Bugerlugs: I couldn't bear to put my methadone back up I'm going to have to ring my worker and tell him I'm now out of their catchment area and say PLEASE keep it at 20mls or maybe 19mls, I mean you wouldn't notice a 1ml drop Yeah you're very wise not using all if you're using on top, your habit will only spiral out of control otherwise I Prostatamassage Video 3 gp to postpone the consultant appointment until 2 weeks time as I'm moving house when it's meant to happen No way in hell would I put off the dr on Friday I'm fed up of feeling my head is half full of putrefying, puss-filled cotton wool!!

And that spray seems to be making things worse. I had to stop taking it, even though you shouldn't stop antibiotics before the time. If I still need something I'm going to ask for pills; my ear does not like being sprayed!

Akelamalu: yeah it's horrible and made me really panicky. I don't usually get anxious over "minor" health problems though I might be obsessively interested in the pus and the gore I can't wait till the time comes when I can truly say those 'eroin years are in the dustbin where they belong!

Like I said, I never crave other drugs I've given up. I just hope heroin can join them in the abyss! Charlie: yeah I agree opiate drugs do mask psychotic type things. First thing I noticed about heroin was how effective it was as a psychic blocker Yet the general public want to believe heroin actually sends you mad! Prostatamassage Video 3 gp could be further from the truth I do believe heroin makes you mentally weak though and that makes you more vulnerable to psychosis I dunno Anna Grace: how was I neurotic in this post I don't even remember now!

Drugs are bad and make mental illness challenges worse. I don't like people who provide drugs to my loved ones with mental illness. When I initially left a comment I seem Prostatamassage Video 3 gp have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now Prostatamassage Video 3 gp time a comment is added I get 4 emails with the same comment. There has to be a means you are able to remove me from that service?

Appreciate it! Post a Comment. Tuesday, 12 June Still deaf Thursday was out becauseI've a hospital appointment with the Consultant who will hopefully explain to me why I am growing a left breast and turning into a woman. I found out last week that my regular GP is still in training. She told me my eardrum Prostatamassage Video 3 gp most definitely not ruptured, but seemed surprised that I was not in pain due to the extent of the infection. My hearing in that ear is very muffled.

I remember a time when the only type of communication permitted in such places was stage-whispering and even then one was liable to being sternly shushed. I have to say, I find whispers ten times more annoying than murmured conversation. Neither of which I would probably be able to follow in my current state of decrepitude.

I dropped the wallet containing all my plastic cards today and didn't notice. Thankfullly I found them all scattered across the floor in my doorway. Had I dropped them out of doors I wouldn't have had a clue. I definitely need this ear treated. The warning noticed on the products I have been using are doing my head in.

Otex peroxide drops for breaking down my ear wax are not to be used in cases of ear infection, which stressed me because although I felt no pain, I did suspect an infection, but had no way of confirming whether or not this was the case. Gut feeling said I was infected, and the doctor of course confirmed this.

The present antibiotic spray insists it is not to be used in cases of perforated eardrum, which the doctor says I haven't got, but instinct tells me I have. So I've Prostatamassage Video 3 gp to wait three days to find out whether I've been inadvertently harming myself all the more. A quick Google on the issue told me that use of the wrong spray can actually cause nerve damage!

The doctor's first choice wasn't even available and won't be stocked anywhere for at least two weeks. The dark side is telling me I won't ever get my old hearing back, so I might as well learn to live with dropping crucial possessions, mishearing and not hearing, and the sensation that half my head is stuffed up with damp and putrefying worm-wriggling cotton wool.

Even if the infection does miraculously clear by Friday, I'm afraid the deafness won't. I'm wondering when Prostatamassage Video 3 gp ever will. A drug-dealer called about an hour ago. When I said I didn't want his wares I'm sure he called me the c-word before hanging up. But even in my good ear, my hearing is so bad, I'll never know Then into the library and a perusal of Christopher Ciccone's Life with My Sister Madonnaa memoir of unmatched bitterness.

Starting off as her backing dancer, then "dresser", a job he says entailed little more than picking her sweat-drenched underwear off the floor, he went on to design interiors for her multiple Prostatamassage Video 3 gp and to help plan her world tours. The book is a catalogue of Madonna's inconsiderate behaviour. The biggest irony is that her marriage to the British film director, Guy Richie, that put the biggest wedge in their relationship, was all but over by the time this book was published.

I have constant indistinct cravings for heroin and, contrary to my resolution, have used it after the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, twice. So I'll think back to this year as "the time I was giving up heroin", rather than the time I gave it up. I know I cannot use on top of such a tiny script. Any use of heroin now is helping me mess things up royally. I can't get my head round the fact that I can never take that crap ever again. Actually, if the druggiepixie could magic them into my hand, none of these substances, with the possible exception Prostatamassage Video 3 gp crack, because I only gave up regular use three years ago, and because most of the dealers sell crack as well Prostatamassage Video 3 gp heroin and because most hard drug addicts in this country are actually more into crack than heroin, if the truth be told The last time I took anything remotely like them was when a heavily personality-disordered acquaintance [he had borderline personality disorder ] sorted me out a free sample of some candy-odoured white powder he declared to be a "legal high".

If it's legal it can't be any good, I opined. Oh, this is great stuff, he assured me. But he was very vague when I tried to find out what it was called. Thee-and-a-half minutes after snorting a weighed fifth of a gram in two nose-burning lines, I was already high with a euphoria that climbed and climbed for another twenty minutes, plateauing out for three hours, then gradually diminishing to leave my feet back on the ground.

Incidentally, it's this quick kick that tends to make drugs more addictive. I felt weird for days afterwards. Prostatamassage Video 3 gp in a cycle of escalating compulsive self-administration, he'd developed a florid paranoid psychosis. Allowed out of the psychiatric ward for "a Prostatamassage Video 3 gp, he'd ended up at the King's Cross tube station where, following a suicidal impulse, he flung himself in front of an underground train and died.

Crippled by loneliness and a dearth of mephedrone following the ban that April, his best friend my friend "Perky" who had a history of speed psychosis and post-opiate withdrawal depressive psychosis, locked herself away and took all the psychiatric medication and Prostatamassage Video 3 gp the methadone she could get her hands on, all at once. And she was found dead in her room. That's two people I know who were killed by a "harmless legal high".

Just knowing that has been the final nail in the coffin of my Chemical Mystic Years. I believe the psychological damage caused by heroin takes the form of an acquired weakness.

I went psychotic after the switch from heroin to methadone proof, if any more were required, that methadone is no true substitute for heroin.

I've haerd of a lot Prostatamassage Video 3 gp people who developed psychotic illness after coming off opiates. Opiates do seem to have some antipsychotic effect [see links below], meaning that in vulnerable people, the mental condition can remain masked for as long as opiate addiction continues.

Many of the life stories I've heard in NA talk about severe mood swings in the first Prostatamassage Video 3 gp months lived "clean". But this doesn't mean every newly detoxed addict is "bipolar". If you turn up to an NA meeting in such a state, people will naturally assume you're on something. They certainly did with me much to my vexation! There is a less extreme form of bipolar, known as type 2, where the patient never develops full-blown mania but instead has episodes of milder hypomania, as well as clinical depression.

This is the fashionable type of bipolar disorder that celebrities like Catherine Zeta Jones go down with. It never involves psychotic Prostatamassage Video 3 gp and, in America at least, is often diagnosed retrospectively, without the doctor actually witnessing the patient in a hypomanic state. It is this type of bipolar disorder that many critics suspect is being overdiagnosed. Bipolar ii is still far more severe than the mood swings experienced by the average recovering addict.

Many addicts, in my experience, do suffer from "emotional problems" which are frequently both Prostatamassage Video 3 gp cause and effect of their addiction. When these problems are extreme enough to warrant psychiatric attention, they tend to take the form of anxiety and depression, not psychosis.